E1 Show Notes

ACT 1

BM: It might’ve been maybe like midnight when I knew for sure. 

[Warm tones, running shower water]

 

I just couldn’t get comfortable. My water broke in the shower. We started getting in the tub. The birthing tub was really good. It was the only way that I could get some really good relief.  

[Running shower water turns into swirling water, then sounds from underwater]

 

BM: So I would be in the water, and then I would have a contraction that would lift me all the way up out of the water, screaming. 

[Water splashing]

 

And I was so frustrated with myself because you see all these videos on Instagram, and people are just so peaceful, and they’re quiet. They’re able to control their emotions. And I kept saying, “I can’t do it. I can’t do it.” 

[Fade out tones & water]

 

KLF: This was Brittney Murray’s third birth. She was 37 and already had two kids.  But this one–was different. 

[Higher tones return]

 

This time–she was doing it at home– in Crawfordville, Florida, under the care of Kim Homer, her licensed midwife. 

 

BM: And Kim, she had her mama voice on. And she’s like, “what can’t you do? And I  was like, “I can’t control myself. I don’t like that I can’t control myself.” And she was like, “You don’t have to. That’s not what labor is about. Labor is about letting your body do what it needs to do.” And that was such like a wake-up moment for me. Like I felt like it taught me stuff about life.

[Tones fade out under KLF]

 

KLF: Brittney is a seasoned nurse. She has worked in hospitals – and she has also given birth in them.

But this was  a whole new experience– 

[Begin New Elements – Andy Quin]

for her. And for her family. 

 

BM: My husband and my kids made me an affirmation audio. So it was this music with binaural beats or whatever. 

And then every couple of minutes, he would say an affirmation, or you would hear my son say an affirmation like, “You can do it, mama.” So they played that the whole time. It was just so beautiful. 

[Sound design – affirmation tape from BM]

 

KLF: She was at home, in her living room. Her essential oil diffuser was  filling the room with fragrance. She could  feel her family’s love. She was  free. Free to express the pain from the contractions of childbirth, with Kim by her side.

 

BM: (laughing) So I remember telling her at one point to please just cut my leg off, super dramatic. I was like, “I don’t need it. Just cut it off. I don’t need the leg.” And then finally, I think it got to a point where my blood pressure started to get too low because I was in the warm water. So there were times when I had to get out. I did not like that. I ended up  accidentally biting my husband’s shoulder because I had a contraction when he was  holding me.

[New Elements fades down, fade up windchime]

 

KLF: As the minutes passed, Brittany could feel it was time to deliver the baby. 

 

BM: The head was coming out.  And I think like 30 minutes went by. And I was able to get the shoulders and the feet out. 

[PAUSE]

 

BM: I have a picture of me like holding him when he came out. It was just like, victory. 

BM: It was the shortest labor I ever had. Like, it was the perfect environment. It was amazing. 

[Chimes fade]

[Fade up show theme]

 

KLF:   I’m Kaytura Felix. You’re listening to Deep Care. 

[Deep Care Intro Music] 

 

A podcast about the Black community midwives transforming Black families and futures.

My research team and I spent 2 years interviewing these midwives, their clients and collaborators to understand what was so special about their practice. 

What we uncovered was deep care. 

That’s the term we use to describe midwives’ unique model of care…that integrates clinical, emotional, cultural, and spiritual dimensions. 

And it’s care that is improving birth outcomes for Black people across the US. 

[Fade out intro music]

 

KLF: Like Brittney, I  have a healthcare background. I was trained as a doctor. I practiced for 10 years, before leaving to work in public health and later, research. 

[SFX: chimes]

And like Brittney, when I became a mother, I didn’t know childbirth could be an empowering, joyful experience.   

Before doing this work, I had never seen a birth that was tender, where family members were embraced, where everybody had a role.

Prior to her home birth, Brittney had two traumatic births in hospitals. After those experiences, Brittney was determined to do something different.

 

BM: So after that, I decided that if we did get pregnant again, I would never go back to the hospital, that I did not want to do that, even though I didn’t know what my options were at that point because I’d already had two C-sections. 

 

KLF: Yeah. Wow. Let’s just take a breath.

[SFX: Chimes fade out]

[SFX – Waves begin]

 

Before we go deeper into Brittney’s story, let me tell you a bit more about myself.

This podcast starts in the South, and so does my story.  

But a little further south, what I call the deep, deep, deep South. The Caribbean. 

[Waves intensify, bugs/birds]

 

ACT 2

KLF: I grew up in Dominica. Yes, you heard right. Dominica. Not the Dominican Republic. It’s a different island in the middle of the Caribbean

[Waves transition into river/creek sound]

 

It’s called the Nature Isle for its mountains and its 365 rivers. It has a population of 70,000 people, mostly Black, descended from Africans brought over during the slave trade. There are also the indigenous Kalinago people. And a handful of white people. 

[Naturescape fades to sound of running car]

 

It’s 1974, 2 years before Dominica’s independence, and I am 8. My mother, sister, brother, and I. 

[Engine cuts off, doors close, transition to sounds of the city outside]

just finished a long, bumpy, and dusty ride to Roseau, the capital town. I hate Roseau. 

[Metal doors open, close, transition to inside hospital sounds]

 

The air is heavy and sticky inside the Harlsboro Medical Building.

We walk past a dozen people who’ve been waiting to be seen for hours. 

[Waiting room voices up and then fade]

 

My mother pushes my brother forward; the doctor examines him briefly and hands her a prescription.  

My mother says, ‘Doctor, How much do I owe you?’ 

‘Fifteen dollars, Mrs. Felix,’ he says. ‘

‘What! Fifteen dollars!’ I scream into my head. She pays him, and we exit into the waiting room.

[door closes, waiting room voices up]

 

This time, I look at each patient in the cramped space. 

[Begin Still Life – Nigel Mullaney & Jonathan Jowett]

 

They are country people and poor. It’s not yet 9:00 o’clock, but their eyes are heavy with fatigue, and their lips are dry. They would have arisen way before dawn to make a one- or two-hour journey into Roseau.  

[Fade out waiting room, fade in sounds of ocean]

 

I am mad. This is unfair. Outside the clinic, I ask “‘Where are these country people going to get that kind of money?” My mother is silent. Even at 8, I understood that healthcare was expensive and there was a two-tiered system of care. 

And that meant that we got better care because my mother was educated, because our family had money, and because we lived close to Roseau. 

That wasn’t the case for the people in the waiting room.

 

I–am–still–mad. ‘When I grow up, I’m going to be a doctor and give free care to poor people.’ I shout. 

[Waves swell and fade out]

 

KLF: So this is the moment that has shaped my career, actually, it shaped my life. I moved to the US when I was 19. I kept my 8-year-old promise to become a doctor. I knew the medical system was broken--and I was going to be different. 

[Fade out Still Life – Nigel Mullaney & Jonathan Jowett]

 

My first job was at a clinic in Upper Manhattan, caring for older patients. Most were Hispanic, Black, and immigrant New Yorkers. 

I thought I could make a difference there, you know? Change the system from the inside out. I quickly realized I couldn’t.

[Begin melancholy celestial loop]

 

My patients would wait hours to see me. They would come because of their diabetes or high blood pressure. 

But what was really hurting them was the violence in their neighborhoods, the lack of good jobs, and tension in their families. 

There was a larger system at work. Their health problems were from their living conditions.

And the most I could do was write them a prescription. 

I couldn’t even listen as they opened their hearts. I didn’t have the time. It was a strict 15 minutes for each patient. 

It broke my heart. I couldn’t be the doctor I wanted to be in that system. So after 11 years in the medical field, I went into public health. 

[Fade out melancholy celestial loop]

 

Looking back, everything in my work and personal life prepared me for this research. 

I’ve experienced both the institutional discrimination and the frank mistreatment that Black women go through in life and at work. 

I am trained as a doctor, but I am a spiritual person. In 2020, after George Floyd’s murder I felt in my spirit I had to confront not just injustice, but racism. 

It couldn’t be a side project; it had to be my work. 

 I turned my focus on the medical sector’s ill treatment of Black women. Particularly in pregnancy and childbirth. 

As a Black woman  who’s given birth. I know all too well what the issues are – how hard it is to access care, how medical providers ignore us, and how much work we have to do to advocate for ourselves. 

Many of us have heard the dire statistics about Black childbirth: That Black women in the US are about 3 times more likely to die from pregnancy-related causes than white women. 

And these outcomes for Black birthing people are high across the board— whether you are a high-powered celebrity like Beyoncé or a nurse like Brittney.

But I knew there had to be more to that story. 

[begin 140 bmp rnb drum loop]

 

Where are the solutions? What are we, the Black community, doing to help? 

As I turned to Black experts in maternal health, the same answer kept coming up: look to Black–community–midwives. 

They are transforming the care and futures of Black families. And they’ve been doing so for a long time. 

[Drum loop ends on cymbal]

 

Today, there are many kinds of midwives, and you can learn more about that in the show notes for this episode. 

But overall, what you need to know is, there are hospital-focused midwives and community focused midwives. 

In this series, we are specifically focused on Black community midwives – that means they spend more than 50% of their work time in the community.

Experts told us that’s where the solution is.

[Begin Rhythmics – Laurent Dury]

 

So over the last two years, my research team and I spoke to over 100 people about Black community midwifery. 

We spent hundreds of hours with midwives and their clients across the US. I spoke to them in their homes and birth centers, in bakeries and coffee shops, in their cars and over Zoom. 

I learned that community midwives are medical providers, 

trained to give care to birthing people during their reproductive years. 

They provide care to low-risk pregnant people before, during, and after birth. 

They collaborate with physicians, doulas, birth assistants, and a host of other specialists. 

They work primarily in clients’ homes, in birth centers, and in some cases, in hospitals. 

Their care extends beyond a client’s biology to consider their lifestyle, their emotional well-being, and their family dynamics. 

I observed firsthand how these midwives provide deep care to birthing families.    

[End Rhythmics – Laurent Dury]

 

ACT 3

KLF:  Before Brittney had a midwife, she had two hospital births. 

Both of them were C-sections. 

And neither of them went as planned. 

You’ll be hearing about these experiences in this segment. I encourage you to listen with care.

[PAUSE]

 

For her first birth, Brittney labored at home before going to her local hospital. 

[Begin A Place of Calm – Andy Quin]

 

Once there, she was given an epidural to numb the pain of her contractions. 

It worked. But unexpectedly, Brittney experienced excruciating pain in her neck and arms. There was also blood in her urine. Even though she’d planned for a natural, vaginal birth, when her baby became distressed, her doctor decided she needed an emergency C-section. 

Usually, a person having a C-section is awake. But because of the intense pain in Brittney’s neck and arms, they had to put her to sleep. 

 

BM: My husband wasn’t able to be in the operating room with me because I was under, so he didn’t get to be there. I wasn’t awake when the baby was removed. So then we just got to meet when I woke back up from the surgery, and just recalled the baby being on me and everything. So that was my first experience. It was really scary, scary for my husband, my mom, everybody involved.

[Fade out A Place of Calm – Andy Quin]

 

Now, C-sections are common in the US. But trust me: I had one. It’s no small thing.

[Begin Catching The Light – Vince Gabriel]

 

It is a major abdominal surgery. It can save the mother’s and baby’s life. But in the US, it is often used when it is not necessary. 

30% of births, in the US, are through C-sections, a rate that is 2-3x higher than what the World Health Organization recommends. And Black mothers in the U.S., like Brittney, are 20% more likely than white mothers to have C-sections. 

This makes Black mothers more vulnerable to complications like infection, bleeding, blood clots, and problems with their future pregnancies. And that’s not all. C-sections are more costly and harder to recover from than vaginal births. All of which makes it more burdensome for new Black parents. 

 

KLF:   Years later, Brittney got pregnant again, and she went back to her doctor seeking a VBAC, or a vaginal birth after a C-section. She wanted to be awake and present during the process. 

Midway through her pregnancy, Brittney realized she wasn’t getting the support she needed. She tried to switch to another OB in the practice. But when she went in to see him, her original doctor shut it down. 

 

BM: When I came for the appointment   He was in the hallway saying, “Do you see that other child in there, I delivered that child. I’m going to deliver this child as well.” So he would not let me switch doctors. Just felt very unempowered. I spoke with them about possible postpartum depression, because my son then was two and a half when I was  pregnant with my other son. That concern was not taken seriously. I think I was with his nurse practitioner when I reported that, and she kind of just brushed it off.

[End Catching The Light – Vince Gabriel]

 

KLF: During this second birth, Brittney experienced severe labor pains again.  By the next day, her labor wasn’t progressing as expected. So her doctors performed another C-section. 

[Low Tone]

 

This time Brittney was awake during the procedure, and her husband was with her. But the experience was even more traumatizing. She was given another epidural, which failed. 

[Tone broadens]

 

She was numb on the right side only. For the duration of the surgery, she could feel everything on her (the) left

[Distills to high tone]

every slice, 

every pull, 

every stitch. 

[Tone fades into A Place of Calm – Andy Quin]

 

KLF:   Years after that experience, Brittney requested her medical records from her pregnancies. What she saw broke her heart.

 

BM: None of that information was on my medical record. 

BM: The only thing that was notated in my medical record was that I failed to progress. 

 

KLF:  Failed to progress. 

That’s a term that hospital providers use when labor is not advancing as expected. 

Because the cervix is not dilating as fast as they’d like, the baby has not descended into the birth canal, or the contractions are not regular or powerful. 

Brittney says there was no mention of the complications she experienced in either birth. 

No record of the blood in her urine, 

or her first baby’s distress, 

or her strange reaction to the first epidural, 

or the failure of the second… 

For Brittney, that erasure was just another way her providers failed her. 

[Fade out A Place of Calm – Andy Quin]

 

KLF:   When Brittney got pregnant again, it felt like she was out of options.  Brittney lived in Crawfordville, Florida – a small town 30 minutes outside of Tallahassee. There were only two hospitals in the area, and she’d tried both of them. 

Without documentation of her past experiences, Brittney couldn’t trust that she wouldn’t receive the same, or worse care, if she had a third hospital birth. 

She was not having that.  

[Begin hand pan loop]

 

BM: I was part of a C-section awareness group, a Facebook group.  And I had basically, in plain terms, said that I was going to do an unattended birth.

 

KLF:   Basically, Brittney thought her only way forward was to have her baby at home, without any medical help, by herself.

 

BM: And so one of the moderators there reached out to me. We had been close because I had been a part of the group since my first child. And she was like, “Please don’t try to attempt that. Let me introduce you to this midwife. I think that you’ll be a good fit.” 

[End loop]

 

KLF: And that’s how Brittney found Kim Homer. 

 

ACT 4

[Begin All In Good Time – Dom James]

KH: I always tell people midwifery chose me before I even knew what it was.

 

KLF:  I first heard of Kim at the National Black Midwives Alliance Conference in 2024. She was being recognized for her service to rural communities. But I didn’t meet her at that conference. Kim wasn’t there to collect her award; instead she was back in Florida delivering another baby. But Kim wasn’t always a midwife. Years before, she was a woman at a crossroads

 

KH: So I was literally on my 10th year working at Home Depot.And I was just tired. I wasn’t happy. I wasn’t fulfilled. And I knew there had to be much more to life than just this. 

[Fade out All In Good Time – Dom James]

 

KLF:   Even though Kim was on the management team at Home Depot, she found herself thinking more and more about midwifery. She couldn’t shake it. 

So, she found a local midwifery school in Miami and applied.  

 

KH: The application process was different for me because I was never a doula. Never really held a newborn. Never rubbed a pregnant belly. So they’re like, “Who is this chick working at Home Depot that want to be midwife? Is this a joke?” 

 

KLF:   She had a three-hour interview with the school. As soon as she  learned that she had been accepted, she decided to quit Home Depot. 

 

KH: I put in all my vacation, and then I gave them three months notice and told them, “Whoever you want me to train and take my position, let’s get started now.” 

 

KLF:   From then on, Kim was on and off vacation. She returned to work to train her replacement. She was loving it, but over time, doubt started to roll in. What if midwifery didn’t work out? School was expensive. She started thinking maybe she should stay on part-time. 

On her second-to-last day, 5 minutes before closing, she was cleaning up in the millworks area, when a customer walked up to her. 

[Begin Fine Details – Andy Quin]

 

KH: He kind of snuck up on me. So I was like, “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t see you there. Is there anything I can help you with?” And he says, “What are you doing working here?” So I’m thinking he sees me in my manager’s clothes and like, “Oh, what is she doing sweeping up?” So I said, “Oh, we just had a call-out in millwork, so I’m just helping in the department.” And he’s like, “No. What are you doing working here? You’re not supposed to be here. And if you don’t follow the path that God has just laid out for you, there’s going to be a lot of blood on your hands.” And when he said that, my mouth just dropped to the floor. And then every question I had in my head throughout the whole day, he answered every single one without me saying a word. And when I got all that confirmation, I didn’t even come to work the next day. When I left Home Depot that night, I cut up my apron. I took all my stuff. I was done. I was done. I didn’t even shop at Home Depot for the next three years.

 

KLF:  Kim took this as a sign that midwifery was her calling. 

And she’s not alone. All of the midwives that I met each had their version of being called. By God, their ancestors. 

Becoming a midwife was so much more than a career move. 

It was a step towards a life purpose bigger than any one person. 

[End Fine Details – Andy Quin]

 

Kim used her retirement savings to finance her education. She started as one of 9 students. But by the end of the three years, she was the only one left — the only one to finish. 

After she graduated, Kim didn’t open a practice right away. She did what I did, what a lot of medical students do: she put herself through a residency program. One that she patched together, apprenticing under 11 different midwives. 

[Begin Small Animals – John Leach & Francis Silkstone]

 

By the time Kim and Brittney Murray met, Kim was 7 years into her midwifery journey. 

 

BM: We met with her, me and my husband. And so of course, I had to tell her– she wanted to know about the history. So I told her all of my history, both of these experiences. And I was holding my breath waiting for her to say, “Oh, no. You’re not a good candidate. There’s too much of a risk. I really don’t think we can do it.” 

Brittney still wanted to have a vaginal birth. But, she feared that wouldn’t be possible, considering her two prior surgeries.   

[PAUSE]

 

And out the gate, she was like, “Of course, I’m with you. We can do this. I’m willing to put in the work. We’ll talk. We’ll go through things. You’ll be followed by a high-risk physician that can let us know what’s appropriate and what’s not. But if that’s what you want, if you want to VBAC, I’m here for you to do that. 

It was life-changing. 

[End Small Animals – John Leach & Francis Silkstone]

 

KLF:   Kim followed the recommended guidance for VBACs and connected Brittney with a high-risk OB, who followed her during her pregnancy.

This resulted in a childbirth that Brittney could never have imagined, the one you heard at the top of the episode.

Before ‘I’ started this research, EYE couldn’thaveimagined the level of deep care that Kim gave to Brittney.

[Begin Rhythmics – Laurent Dury]

 

On this podcast, we’ll be meeting Black community midwives, like Kim, and their clients, like Brittney.

We’ll be going into their practices, into homes and birth centers. 

We’ll look into  the history of Black midwives in the U.S., 

and bear witness to how they’re transforming Black families and futures today.

 

In the next episode, we’ll be looking at prenatal care. 

Not in an office, but at home in Florida. With midwife Kim. 

You’re listening to Deep Care. 

[Fade out Rhythmics – Laurent Dury]

 

The Black Birthing Futures study was funded by the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation. Deep Care was funded by the Wagner Foundation, the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation, and Griotte’s Beat LLC.

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